Compiling the List
Guest Lists are usually compiled on a next-of-kin basis, then extending outwards to close friends, etc., as follows-
(a) relatives in the immediate families - sisters, brothers, in-laws;
(b) relatives one step removed, i.e. grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins
(c) closest friends of the couple
(d) close friends of mothers and fathers
(e) friends and colleagues
(f) established acquaintances
Groups (d), (e) and (f) may be sent Evening Invitations for the reception celebrations only, if you so decide.

Sending and Receiving
Invitations are traditionally sent out by the `host' of the wedding. This is traditionally the brides mother, but the host might also be the bride's
grandparents
aunt and uncle
step-mother or father
godparents
foster parents
brother and wife
In each case, the invitation wording will vary slightly (see below).

Many couples today send out invitations on their own behalf, i.e., in their own names, with their own return address. In many cases this is a sensible practice, as it reduces interference and puts control in the hands of the couple themselves. In any case, the costs of printing and postage are usually shared.
A single, fixed reply address is important. The letters R.S.V.P. placed at the end of the invitation are from the French ``Repondez s'il vous plait" or `Reply, if you please', followed by the host's full postal address (and telephone number). The inclusion of the telephone number is a practical addition, and is convenient for guests who as yet may be uncertain of their availability to attend, or who wish to discuss the gift-list with the bride's mother, travel and accommodation arrangements, etc.

The Reply Card
The reply card is optional. It helps to facilitate the replies by including one with your invitations. It is sometimes called an Acknowledgement Card. It carries a brief note on one side, as follows:
[Names . . . . . . . ]
are pleased to accept [ ]
regret they are unable to accept [ ]
your kind invitation for Sat 21st April 2001, etc.
Tick As Appropriate
The inclusion of a Reply Card will greatly increase the chances of an early reply.

Maps and Directions
A map of the route to the town, church, hotel reception, etc., may also conveniently included at this stage. Try to keep this compact and neat. It's best drawn in black ink for easy reproduction. Straight lines can replace curves. The map need not be to scale if distances are included. A scraggy, badly-drawn map can detract from a pretty invitation, so get a friend with a steady hand to draw it out for you.

Other Considerations
It is not appropriate to include a Gift List at this stage. This may later be requested by the guest upon acceptance of the invitation, or closer to the event itself. Or their choice of gift can easily be discussed and cleared with the host over the phone with reference to a master copy.
It is not usual to invite guests to the ceremony and not to the reception, except where a death in the family means that the reception will be a quiet affair.
Keep a master copy of the guest list and mark off guests as they respond.

Invitation Wording
Where the Bride-to-be is still living with her parents, the standard, traditional form of invitation is:

Whoever represents the bride and acts as the host issues the invitations. In the absence of parents, the bride may be represented by her uncle, brother, grandmother, aunt etc. The relationship between the host and the bride should be specified, i.e.

Mr and Mrs A. Roche
Request the pleasure . . . (etc.)
. . . to the marriage of their
sister (niece, goddaughter, foster-daughter, stepdaughter, etc.)Theresa to . . .

Wording Variations:
Where the bride-to-be's mother was widowed and has remarried, her new surname can be used, while her daughter may retain her original surname, or not, depending on the length of the new marriage and the closeness of relationship between the bride-to-be and her step-father. Alternatively, the bride's mother may adopt a double-barrelled name to clarify the relationship. Where the host is widowed or separated or re-married, etc., an appropriate variation in the wording may be made, i.e. -

Mrs. Jennifer O'Connell ... her daughter Theresa;
Mr. & Mrs Brian Lawlor ... her daughter Mary Kelly;
Mrs. Joan McCormac & Mr. John O'Leary ... his daughter Maeve;
Mr. & Mrs. Twomey and Family ...;

If the parents are divorced or separated but still in contact, the format is: Mr. John Jackson and Mrs. Ena Jackson... If two sisters share in a double wedding, the eldest should be named first.
Basically, your invitation wording can be anything it requires to be.
Where the couple chooses to send out invitations on their own behalf, the form is:

Ann Lynch and Brian McCarthy
request the pleasure
of the company of. . . or "would like to invite you to their wedding on (date)"

The couple would usually give her address, since the bride traditionally handles the invitations.

The classic wording can be easily altered to something more casual, i.e. "A and B would like . . . to join them in celebrating the marriage of their daughter..." or in a quasi-letter format like " Dear (Guest's Name), we would be pleased if you could attend the marriage of our daughter ..." If you're unsure, remember that the classic format always looks well and has stood the test of time.

Evening Invitations
You may wish to send out separate Evening Invitations, for guests invited to the reception only. More often than not, Evening Invitations are sent out by the couple to their friends, but may also be sent out by the bride's parents.

Humorous designs are particularly suited to Evening Invitations. Remember when ordering Evening invitations to include the time you would like your evening guests to arrive. This is a common omission.

Choosing Your Invitations
Once you have
(a) decided on your stationery requirements,
(b) found a range of stationery you like, and
(c) set a limit to your budget,
you can then select your invitation card.

You will probably find a printer or stationer locally who is an agent for one or more wedding stationery companies. The agent will have the standard presentation folders at his premises, where you may browse through the designs and prices, without any obligation.
Alternatively, you may select to deal with a Mail-Order Firm who will send you their range of designs, samples and prices, from which to choose. I.M.S. (Irish Mail-Order Stationery) deal on a countrywide basis with brides from Derry and Donegal to Dublin and Dingle. Many customers live abroad but plan to get married in Ireland. They offer cards with a softer touch and a more individualistic flavour. IMS have dozens of designs in a full range of colours.

Co-ordinated Sets
Once you've selected your invitation card, you may wish to order other cards in the same matching design, or in complimentary designs -
Evening Invitations
Reply cards
Thank You cards
Place Cards

Many brides prefer to remain consistent in design and colour. However, there's nothing to stop you sending out Invitations in one design and Evening Invitations in another, as only you will be aware of the co-ordination, not the recipients. Evening Invites are sometimes light-hearted or comical, while Day invites tend to be formal.
All Invitation Cards or Designs you'll see on display carry reference names or numbers which help you to order matching items, or which may function as a price code to be checked against the current price lists.

Place Cards
At more formal weddings, a table plan worked out in advance may help to avoid confusion so guests can relax, without having to defend seats for late partners or offend anyone who may think they are being either avoided or invaded. They cost very little and they help make guests feel wanted and important.

Serviettes, etc.
Other accessories include:
serviettes
table parchment scrolls,
rings (for scrolls)
book-matches
These accessories may be personalised with the names of the bride and groom. Serviettes personalised with both your Christian names and the date come in a variety of pastel shades. Alternatively, you may choose plain serviettes, neatly folded in the wine glasses, with perhaps an added colour tissue carnation to emphasise your colour scheme.

Thank You Cards
If the idea of writing dozens of letters on return from your honeymoon seems daunting, then a simple personalised Thank You Card will solve your problems. The wording takes different forms, for example: `It is with warm appreciation that we both send our sincere thanks for your kind gift and your good wishes for the future' followed by your Christian names and your new address, or the bride's address. You can address the envelopes before your wedding, and sign the cards, or add a brief personal note at the end.

Generally, there is usually a lower limit to the number of cards you can order, i.e., minimum order of 30 cards. If you order other cards, but not invitation cards, some firms will request a small extra charge. The more cards you order, the smaller the unit price is likely to be. i.e., the same card might cost 50p or 75p depending on the quantity you order. By ordering standard Reply Cards and Thank You cards on which you write in your own names on each card, you can save money. Cards personalised with your names will cost more. Your hand-written cards will never look as well, but they do their job well.

Mix, Match . . . Magic!
The Simplicity Cards range of wedding stationery from I.M.S. is a new concept in personalised wedding stationery. A mail-order service will send you a Simplicity Presentation Pack that allows you to see samples or look through the catalogue at your leisure, without obligation. You've many options - design, colour, style, etc., and you compile or select your own cards accordingly. Your options will include:

• (a) A selection of dozens of special designs in a number of styles - Celtic, Floral, Angelic, Art Nouveau, Humorous, Classical, etc. From these you select your favourite design. If you wish, you can choose different designs for your Evening Invitations, Reply Cards, Thank you Cards, etc.
• (b) You choose from a range of pastel coloured cards in beautiful Parchment, Marbled, or Regal. Your options include white, peach, ivory, natural cream, pink, green, white blue, gold, lilac.
• (c) You receive matching Day Invite envelopes in all shades. Or you might decide to have your envelopes in a different colour to the invitations, i.e., white and gold, or peach and cream.
• (d) For the environmentally conscious bride, there are beautiful recycled cards. Then you have -
• (e) A choice of invitation wording
• (f) A choice of lettering styles
• (g) A choice of Gold, or Silver print, or Colour print.
• (h) With the Colour Print option, your names may appear on the outside of the card, blended with the design of your choice. To avail of this option with Gold or Silver, a special gold plate must be made. Simplicity Cards feature the couple's first names on all their designs if required.
• (i) Your Wedding Date may also appear on the outside, blended with the design, as a helpful reminder to the guest.
• (j) All Day Invitation cards carry Inserts, that is, the text is printed on a matching paper and this is folded and glued inside the card.

For your Simplicity Presentation Pack, including design catalogue, colour swatch, explanatory booklet and options brochure, as well as sample cards, send £3.99 (+ £1 p&p) to IMS, 3 Beaumont Place, Cork, Tel 021-295208 [Production Office], or 62 CastleByrne Park, Blackrock, Co. Dublin, Tel 01-2887578 [Marketing Office].

Wedding Mass Books (RC)
In the rush to prepare for the wedding, many girls often forget about the marriage ceremony, leaving their Mass books to the very last minute! Others go through the ceremony without a Mass book to help then, relying on prompts from the priest. In the event, they have no personal record or keepsake of their marriage blessings and vows.
In preparing your wedding Mass book, you select your preferred gospel readings, prayers, blessings, vows, etc., from a special booklet which outlines your many options.
You Wedding Mass book is uniquely yours. The text is personalised throughout with both your Christian names. Also, in the `Prayers of the Faithful', for instance, you may include the names of departed dear ones. You may include your own favourite prayers, poems or readings. As this is your ceremony, you are encouraged by the Church to shape the mass itself and the wedding ceremony to your own requirements.
Your Mass book is an invaluable help during the rehearsal and during the ceremony. Afterwards it's a beautiful (and historical)keepsake of the event, including your sacred vows.

lMS Massbooks

• IMS (Irish Mail-Order Stationery) specialise in supplying cut-cost, tailor-made Massbooks to brides.
• IMS Mass booklets are beautifully produced in a choice of parchment and marbled colours and finishes. Unlike other booklets, each copy can be individualised with both your names on the cover, together with the design of your choice, and the details of the wedding.
• IMS offer a selection of Gold and Silver pre-printed Designs, on white or cream regal card.
• IMS Massbooks are usually printed in A5-size (6"x8") or in top-pocket (4"x7") booklet form, with 8, 12 or 16 pages.
• The 16-page massbook is standard (12 pages text + covers). More pages are required when you wish to include the full words of Hymns.
• Also, the title page of IMS Massbooks carries the names of all the key participants, from the celebrant to the readers and flower girls.
• IMS Mass Booklets gives you the option of large or small format, a soft or hard cover, a full or abbreviated text.
• A special copy for the priest, in large format and large print, is an optional extra.
• IMS Massbooks will cost you less, but will include more, for instance -
  personalised covers
  title page details
  list of participants
  your choice of cover lettering
  dozens of cover designs
  a free Proofing service
  an Express service (7-day delivery)
  high quality printing technology
  1000's of satisfied customers

  Personalised Products
  The Title Page of your Mass booklet features a list of all the key participants -
  the bride & groom
  the celebrant(s)
  the bridesmaid(s)
  the best man
  the groomsmen
  flower girls
  organist/soloist, etc.

  Because your wedding has its unique combination of
  introductory rite
  readings
  marriage rites
  hymn titles
  Eucharist prayers
  blessings

  your Massbook takes a little time to prepare. You should allow 1 week or more for receipt of proof, plus 3 weeks for print [collating, folding, stapling, guillotining] packaging and delivery.

  A proof is useful if you wish to:
  change your mind about the cover colour
  add or change a name in the Participant's list
  check the spelling of unusual names

  You cannot, however, change the text once you have made your selections. You'll require a copy each for every couple (or for every attendant) at the service, including a few extra copies for the musicians. The average order is anywhere from 80 - 120 copies.

  Massbook Prices
  IMS Massbooks cost approx. £1.21p each - based on 100 copies. Prices vary depending on the number of pages and the type of cover (hard or soft) you choose.

  Complete Massbook Guide
  A complete list of all options is outlined in a booklet entitled The Complete Wedding Massbook Guide, available from IMS, 3 Beaumont Place, Cork, Tel 021-295208 [Production Office], or 62 Castle Byrne Park, Blackrock, Co. Dublin, Tel 01-2887578 [Marketing Office]. The Price is £2.99 (incl. p&p). This step-by-step guide is easy to follow and makes it easy to compile your own Mass Booklet.

  Or if you require the full Massbook Presentation Pack, including samples, covers, colour swatch, 10% discount voucher, etc., the price is £3.99 (+£1 p&p).

  Invitation Checklist
  ESSENTIAL -
  Invitations symbols
  Evening Invitations
  Mass Books
  OPTIONAL -
  Reply Cards symbols
  Thank You Cards
  Place Cards symbols
  ACCESSORIES -
  Serviettes
  Cake Boxes
  Book Matches
  Table Parchments
  Balloons
  Decorations